do I look like a terrorist to you!!!!

Note: This is an exaggerated version of the event (with a few fictionalised dialogues), but this is true story! And I'm publishing this with no intent to stir any controversies like racism...etc.


As a dodgy looking Sikh guy with a bulky backpack I should've known chilling by the gates of Downing Street for close to an hour was never going to be a good idea. But on this particular tuesday I did so anyway. But heres the big shocker I was almost an hour early for a meeting. Not just punctual but actually early! (OK those of you that know me you can wipe that shocked look off your faces.) I was early and what a mistake that was! I had a meeting with someone I can best describe as my boss, who was going to take me into Downing street. So there I was standing around with a bulky camera bag, chatting on my phone, constantly checking my watch thinking I looked the business. A big shot journalist following up leads on his phone, while waiting for something to happen at the Blairs' residence, camera bag on my side. Now theres a thought!
Meanwhile, inside the guards' post at the Downing Street gates, a guard picked up his handset on the frequency to perimeter security, "Mate you might wanna check out this paki by the front gates. He's got a package.. Asian male, turban, beard the works. Bin standing there for bloody aages.. wa**er looks like f***ing Osama's twin!!. Alright mate.. yeah bring 'im in fer questioning. Aright over n out."
So there I stood leaning against a lamp post talking on the phone, when this official looking vehicle(well with hindsight the thing looked bloody ridiculous painted orange with some blue, white n green thrown in for good measure!) pulled up behind me. Four stern looking cops in full riot gear jump out and walk toward me. "Sir could you come off the phone and step to one side with us please." F***ers were polite even when they thought I was a terrorist. "We need to ask you a few questions. It's bin brought to our notice that you have been standing here for about 25 minutes now.." 'Yeah so much for your security mate, bin here over an hour at least', was what I was thinking to myself! ".. I'm sure you're aware that this is a very high security area.." 'Oh I thought you'd stopped guarding your Prime Minister since he started working for the Americans', my mind laughed. A grin came on my face at this thought. And I'm sure it came accross as menacing. At this point two of the cops took a little step back and whispered something to each other. "Sir can you please tell us what you're doing here?.. And could you also open your bag for us." Sure no problem. "Here you go officer, please feel free to open it and look inside." Stupid move... they obviously thought it was a bomb that was going to blow up in their faces, especially with me standing there with a stupid grin on my face. "We'd appreciate it if you do it yourself Sir. And please keep your hands in sight. Just unzip it and put it on the floor please" Oh the politeness of the British, even with possible death looming in their faces. Why... Why was I finding this so amusing??? So the camera bag was cleared... eventually.
"Can we see some ID proving you're a journalist?" "Ummm I'm afraid I haven't got any. I'm just doing work experience." "Any photo ID that proves who you are?" "uhh yeah ... Got this student card.. I think it's expired now! but you can check with the university if you like" Great so I forgot my driving license as well.. hmm where the hell is it.. shit focus on the situation at hand goddammit!! The weird things that go through your mind at a time like this! "Sir we don't wish to embarrass you in public, so can you please empty the contents of your pockets so we won't need to pat you down".
And as if on cue a bunch of German tourists walked past. Schoolkids with their cameras and camera phones aimed at me clicking away to glory, thinking of what a fine blog this picture of the latest terrorist would make on their online forums... Damn right you don't want to embarass me!Eventually, Uni cleared my name. The cops apologised profusely and then lo and behold, they escorted me into Downing Street, telling the man at the gate "He's clean, hasn't got ID on 'im but we've checked his story out." So it all worked out well for me in the end. And the cops even caught hold of the whole lot of the German kids' cameras and in front of my eyes deleted every single picture of me. So it all worked out in the end. I got to hang out with Blair and Manmohan Singh in Downing Street for the afternoon and killed time while waiting to get into downing St. But what an anticlimax right!!
Hahaha.Although this incident brings Jay-Z's lyrics to mind (99 Problems) "Son do you kow what I'm stopping you for.... Cos I'm young n I'm brown n my turban's real low,do I look like a mind reader Sir I don't know!"
But..... Seriously do I look like a terrorist to you!!!! Lol

The beginning

So I'm finally trying to catch up with the world by starting this blog. But how does one begin? I mean, is it like a diary where u start off with ever so cheesy "dear diary" (or in this case dear blog) or is it just like a regular chatroom where a simple "'sup ppl" suffices? At this point I'm sure any of you who may have knowingly or mistakenly logged onto this blog will be thinking what a loser!! But hey, (as I'm sure the more intelligent readers will already have figured) at least the name of the blog now makes sense.
Now coming back to my initial question, how do I begin? What do I begin with? Do I introduce myself to the world or do I anonymously try to stir controversies? Do I ask questions or try to give answers? I really don't know. Maybe it would be easier just to say the fool has arrived on the internet (As I'm sure a lot of you have concluded already.) So read on if you like, to acquaint yourself with a couple of incidents from the recent past that may help you establish how the fool's persona was born...